"To which I replied, 'I sneeze and hits come out!'"

Crumb Begging lives at 210 Waller Street, in a bedsit not fit for a mouse let alone a human being. He spends his days recording sounds on a modular synthesizer apparatus from Radioshack, and writing the most beautiful poetry, not with words, but with his existence...and with words. He has no job because he needs all the time the universe has to offer to make his music because otherwise his soul, and all other souls in the world, would parish. He lives on the dole and looks it, too, and everyone thinks he must be on the brown or the white because of his dirty fingers. His jacket is torn, his jeans have holes, and his brown leather shoes have flappy soles (which give the comical impression that they are always laughing). Crumb Begging went to an Ivy League school and his brain is bigger than a basketball and filled with much more than air, but he gave up the life of a scholar for one of an artist.

Servo lives in SoHo, a block away from Crumb Begging. He lives with his wife and daughter in a fancy place made of window-walls that face the river and there are chandeliers in every room of their home. He only wears the best suits, and even though his office is only a mile from his home, he takes a cab there everyday. Servo grew up in a poor working class family, and he has worked hard all his days so he could one day provide his family with what he couldn’t have growing up. There is nothing he cherishes more than his daughter, and he holds no accomplishment higher than that of being her hero.

Every morning both Crumb Begging and Servo go into the same coffee shop for their morning brew, and each morning they pass disapproving looks.

Finally, after years, it happens--Crumb Begging bumps into Servo, causing a cascade of coffee.

Servo: You worthless gutter rat! You are a symbol of everything that is wrong with society!! You spilled my coffee!!
Crumb Begging: Easy, it was an accident! And what’s wrong with not working a typical job; with living on the dole if you’re comfortable with it, eh??
Servo: Your hair is what’s wrong with it, I don’t like your hair! You have dirty hair!
Crumb Begging: Well pardon me, I didn’t realize my filth was such a bane on the men and women of this country. It would probably be seen as a great contribution to society if you’d donate some of your trust fund money to the cleansing of my hair. I’m sure you’d be honored by the highest power for buying me shampoo. You’d get a statue, I’m sure!
Servo: I’ve earned everything I own, thanks. Education--have you heard of it? If you had I’m sure you wouldn’t be in such a poor state. Shame, that. We really must take more pity on our under-educated.
Crumb Begging: …apparently so. Perhaps teach them about what it is to love and have a soul, etc.

Meanwhile, Sally Cinnamon sits alone in the corner watching it all unfold, and thinks to herself, “they’re all either insane and dumb on crack or soulless swine in good threads!”